We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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