He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
