every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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