you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
