Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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