Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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