I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
