Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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