He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
