so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I bet he comes in French.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
