no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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