I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
