DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
