Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
