i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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