so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
