May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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