dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize