he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
