Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
