I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
