Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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