i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
