he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
