am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he fucked my hip out of place.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
