We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize