maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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