Sponge bath it is.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
