Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
