He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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