I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
