fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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