I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
