I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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