Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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