come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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