And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
