YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I want her autograph on my taint
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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