He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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