maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
