Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's blow job season.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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