they need to just BURY HIM!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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