Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
