I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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