Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
