just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
