Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Randomize
