Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
