I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
