yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
