she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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