I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
