you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
