We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
