Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
