We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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