That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
