No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
