I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
