I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
