Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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