We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
