Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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