Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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