Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize