I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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